This post does contain affiliate links and I may earn a small commission if you click on the link at no cost to you. Thank you!
Listen, trusting your husband can be as simple as hoping he remembers to take the trash out every morning like he said he would or to a more serious offense that affects the entire family and requires you to go through counseling together. I know that trusting our husbands can be tough, but with the help of the Lord we can begin to trust our husbands more and more each day.
This is something you will continue to learn as you grow as people, change careers, have children, and age together. Marriage in itself is a sanctification process for both you and your husband. So let’s be content with remembering this is a long process and not an overnight success.
Let’s take a “do you trust your husband” quiz and see where you are!
Do you trust your husband?
Let me give you some good indicators of when you’re not trusting your husband:
- Doubting him in thoughts and/or actions
- Trying to manipulate him
- Not taking his suggestions
- Ignoring his ideas
- Speaking in a condescending tone
Now let’s discuss the ways in which you can and should trust your husband:
- Giving him your attention
- Letting him make decisions
- Praying for him
- Speaking with him about an issue or decision with understanding and humility
If you’re finding yourself in the, not trusting your husband, category, then let me encourage you with the rest of this blog! If you find yourself in the, trusting your husband, category then let me continue to encourage you and give you ways to encourage a sweet friend!
When you don’t trust your husband
Friend, it is dangerous for you to not trust your husband. When you don’t trust your husband in your heart and mind, then it looks like i.e. not giving him the benefit of the doubt, questioning his motives, loving him by manipulation, and ultimately just not loving him.
It’s also not glorifying the Lord. Think about it, if you can’t trust your husband, whom the Lord has given you to love and trust, then how can you trust the Lord?
I know that our culture has given us an us vs. men mentality and to be suspicious of our husbands, but that is not how the Lord has called us to be as wives. Trusting your husband is counter-cultural! When wives are submissive to their husbands, not constantly doubting them, trusting them with big and small decisions it is beautiful and harmonious.
Why you don’t trust your husband
Let’s talk about the real reason behind why we don’t trust our husbands. SIN. Sin causes us to not trust our husbands. Maybe there has been a very traumatic and hurtful event that has destroyed the trust within your relationship. Then, you need to seek wise counsel with a biblical counselor and continue in the process of reconciliation at all costs. There’s still an underlying cause of the event that has occurred.
Maybe you feel like you simply can’t trust your husband because he doesn’t always follow through or he is lazy and doesn’t want to commit to doing something you’ve asked him to do.
Our culture likes to tell us that this untrustworthiness stems from circumstances, culture, the way people were raised, etc. Those are definitely issues, BUT all of these circumstantial issues start in the heart of man, with sin.
If you had any type of pre-marital counseling, one of the first items of business you should’ve discussed was that your husband is a sinner. I know, I’m sure this is a complete shocker and revolutionary idea, probably new to you right? Obviously I’m kidding, but they make mistakes, they make decisions in pride, they’ll put themselves first rather than their family, and they’ll become lazy with their work. This is all normal, why? Because we married sinners.
This is why, as wives, we must come alongside our husbands full of
- Grace
- Understanding
- Compassion
When our husbands sin against us and make wrong decisions, we shouldn’t be surprised. Let me tell you a secret, we do it too! If anything, this should make us more empathetic and understanding towards them because we’re the same way! We must see our husbands through the lens of Jesus, if not, then we will be disappointed every single time.
He can be trusted again
Trusting our husbands begins in our hearts. Yes, you read it correctly, it starts with us. They might be in sin too, but ultimately, only the Lord can change their hearts. P.S. only the Lord can change our hearts too. We cannot change our husbands, but we can pray that the Lord would graciously reveal their sin and that they would repent.
Also, this is not just an outward occurrence or change. The outward actions tell us what’s going on in our hearts and minds. You may be showing through your actions that you trust your husband, but in your mind, you’re picking him apart, doubting him, and wondering what in the world he is thinking. Friend, this is not true trust.
And guess what? They know it! Our husbands can tell if we are trusting them or not. We must bring ourselves to our husbands and confess that we’re not trusting them, but we also must repent. And do you know what else? We can also pray to trust our husbands more. The ability to confess, forgive, and trust comes straight from the Lord. We can ask for all of these things and pray for a heart of trust for our husbands.
Biblical view of husbands
The Lord has called us to trust our husbands and not to a certain extent, but in all things. The Lord also knows that our husbands are sinners, but He still calls us to trust them. I understand that there are husbands out there who are living in sin and may not be Christians. This is the perfect opportunity for you to pray for them and show them the Gospel through how you live.
Your husband has made and will make many mistakes. He’ll make mistakes with money, time/efforts, and your children. This is normal. Sometimes, I think we give our husbands too much credit or we put too much pressure on them. Remember, they are sinners. They will never be perfect and even though they are being sanctified, they will always come up short.
We must remember that we have a perfect husband and that it’s okay when our earthly husbands fall short. Jesus is the bridegroom and we are His bride. He lived as the perfect husband and He died for His bride. Then, He resurrected so that we, the bride, could be with Him for all eternity. Friend, our earthly husband is the tiniest picture of our husband who is King and Ruler over all the earth. How stinking cool is that? That us AND our husbands get to play a small part in that!
Teaching children about husbands
This is how we are to teach our children about our husbands, but men in general. We tell our children that men are made in God’s image, but they also sin. I know this goes against everything that Disney has to offer, but it’s not real life for a prince to come into the picture in perfect princely attire singing in perfect pitch sweeping the princess off her feet and running off together in marriage. This isn’t normal. What normal in a healthy marriage between two sinners are arguing and making mistakes.
We must teach our children differently. The best lessons we can teach them about men are:
- Men work hard
- Men pursue their wives
- Men are protectors
- Men provide for their families
- Men are made in the image of God
- Men are sinners
Bible verses on trusting your husband
The Bible never promises that husbands will never make mistakes, but it does say that they are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. When they are making decisions for the family or making small decisions in the day to day, they are to have these biblical principles in mind:
- Love your wife as Christ loved the church- Ephesians 5:25
- Don’t let your family go hungry or you are worse than an unbeliever- 1 Timothy 5:8
- Christ is the head of the husband- 1 Corinthians 11:3
- Husbands should not be harsh with their wives- Colossians 3:19
I love that God didn’t give our husband specific things to do and not do. God doesn’t micromanage our husbands, but He gives them specific biblical principles to live under. Our husbands have a big responsibility to us and our families. We can remember that the Lord is in charge of our husbands and they answer to the Lord. That’s a scary thought and THAT should move us to be kind and generous to them.
If your husband is a christian, you probably need to trust him more. I read a post on Instagram from @feminine_not_feminist, FYI her content is wonderful and amazing, that talks about how our christian husbands generally want the same things, as we do, for our family, but they might have a different way of getting there. This means that if they are in Christ, then they want their family and their wife to love and follow Christ. If they are actively trying to do those things, then we can trust them. Pretty simple, right?
This quote from Nancy Wilson’s book, The Fruit of Her Hands , perfectly sums up this thought:
“Because every family is a distinct cultural unit, it is good that our methods differ. God did not intend for us to walk in lockstep with one another. We ought to rejoice in a common commitment to biblical principles and in the variety of methods God’s people employ.”
Prayers to help you trust your husband
As wives, we must be praying for our husbands daily. This is not only something we should be doing, but this will help us to trust them because we are actively praying for their good and for their sanctification. There are many more prayers that you could pray for your husband, but here are five to get you started!
- Pray for your husband to work hard as unto the Lord and provide for his family.
- Pray for your husband to seek the Lord and His kingdom above all things
- Pray that your husband would be humble. As he serves you, his children, his coworkers, and his church, we would be humble in his demeanor and his acts of service.
- Pray that he would be in the Word. That the Lord would open his eyes to his sin and the strongholds in His life.
- Pray for rest. Pray that he would find rest in the Lord and that rest would refresh His spirit to continue to work and love others well.
If you walk away from reading this post and you only gain ONE thing, this is it. Pray for your husband. He needs you to intercede on his behalf and no matter if you trust your husband or not, this will help you to see Him with the eyes of Christ.
Your husband can be trusted
The Lord has given us our husbands and if you are praying for them, serving them, and listening to them, then they can be trusted. I can already hear this question, “but what happens if he _______”. Friend, trusting our husbands takes time and effort. This is not something that happens overnight and all of a sudden you totally trust your husband in all the things. This takes sanctification and time. I’ve said the word time in this blog post multiple times because that’s what it takes.
If he is in Christ and doing his best to serve you, your family, his coworkers, his church, and community, then he can be trusted. “What if he doesn’t do these things?” Then pray for him, humbly communicate your concerns with him, encourage him to speak with a wise counselor or pastor, and then let him answer to the Lord. He ultimately doesn’t answer to you or anyone else but the Lord. Let’s give him grace and room to be sanctified.
Listen, I want to have compassion on those reading this and say that if you cannot trust your husband for a legitimate reason or he’s not a bible believing Christian, then please seek wise counsel. I am not saying all these things as a one size fits all. This is an encouragement for those who need to trust their husbands more. If you are doing these things and your husband cannot be trusted, seek wise counsel and begin the process of reconciliation and forgiveness.
____________________
I hope this was encouraging, sweet friend! Don’t forget to like and share!